That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize