dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
