update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I love having hate sex.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I'm too high and old for this...
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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