I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
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