they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
