We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
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