Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
