This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize