the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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