I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
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