Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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