i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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