are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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