I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
