whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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