My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
