my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
