he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Randomize
