I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
it was like eating out sand paper
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
