i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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