i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize