Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
