you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
