he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
