You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
