Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
