i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
