Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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