Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Randomize
