If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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