would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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