I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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