Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
