This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
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