MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Randomize
