He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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