guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Randomize
