Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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