Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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