My room smells like vodka and shame
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
