Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
