It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
