omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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