To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
