I want to stick my p in your. b.
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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