Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
We were destined to go to rehab together
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize
