This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
