This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
