why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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