I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
