he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
