Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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