is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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