drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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