shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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