I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
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