i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
