Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
