we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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