At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize