I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Randomize
