I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
the day after is always just damage control
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
