I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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