So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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