Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
