yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Also, beer. Big fan.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
