i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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